Learn how to change your personality.

“You can change and recreate yourself into the vision you want to become.”

– Dr Benjamin Hardy PhD.

Personality isn’t permanent. For years we have been led to believe that our personalities are fixed and permanent. Much research, observation, science and experience tell us differently on how to change your personality.

In his book, Personality Isn’t Permanent, Dr Benjamin Hardy, demonstrates, that our personalities aren’t permanent. To get the full scoop, please read his book. It will be a life-changing read! he will show you how to change your personality.

Let’s agree that our personalities aren’t permanent for the rest of this article and see where it takes us.

Consciously Working On Developing Our Personality

If our personalities aren’t permanent, this opens up our future to unlimited possibilities. Possibilities for our professional and personal lives.

Who do you want your future self to be? Who would you need to become to achieve your dreams and goals?

Is labelling yourself as an “introvert” stopping you from career advancement?

What limitations have you placed on yourself because you thought your personality was permanent?

How to CONSCIOUSLY create our new future self.

3 Simple Steps To Creating A New Personality A New Future Self

Imagine you are a business professional, planning, to advance to the next level in your career. You believe you are a born introvert. You are under the impression that you have a fixed personality. Only more extroverted people can go to the next level in your profession. Are you feeling trapped between your personality and the job promotion?

In your new role, you must lead others, present and lead meetings, and deliver small educational training to your staff.

There are always solutions in life.

Here are the 3 simple steps you can apply to become more extroverted to qualify for the job promotion in line with your career advancement.

Step 1: Get a clear picture of your new future self:

“All things are created twice; first mentally; then physically;

– Stephen R. Covey (Author of – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

Start writing in your journal, all the qualities, you see yourself demonstrating as your new future self. Confident, energized, extroverted, focused, in control, articulate, excited, empathetic etc…

See yourself in your mind’s eye, eyes closed, delivering a public speaking event standing tall, enjoying every minute of your delivery. Play this scene in your mind first thing in the morning and before going to sleep at night.

This regular visualization will populate the new canvas of the first mental creation of your future self.

Step 2: Apply your new future self to the Dilt’s Logical Levels of Change:

Now we will make 7 lists according to the powerful logical levels of change. This is a fast track to creating rapid, permanent, and lasting change in your life.

• Purpose: What’s your goal (Example; I am a confident, articulate public speaker) Write out your specific goal!
• Identity: How would you show up, what personality traits, do you need to develop based on your purpose and goal? Make a list!
• Values & Beliefs: What values and beliefs would you need to adopt, or let go of, to achieve your purpose and goal? Make a list!
• Capabilities: What skills & capabilities would you need to learn to achieve your purpose and goal? Make a list!
• Behaviors: What behaviors would you need to demonstrate, daily, to achieve your purpose and goal? Make a list!
• Environment: What environments would you need to place yourself in, or remove yourself from, to achieve your purpose and goal? Make a list!

Step 3: Take action and practice, practice, practice: (How to change your personality)

Take immediate action on the lists you just created in step 2. For example, in the logical level of Capabilities, you may have written down that you will attend a public speaking course. Sign up for a public speaking course and build this capability into your personality and future self.

I can remember, at least 10 years ago, I joined the Saigon public speaking group called Toastmasters International. This is one of the places I learned the skill and capability of public speaking. You can check out my video at Saigon Toastmasters HERE. When I still had hair.

My future self 10 years ago is different to my future self today!

Continue to take action on all your lists from step 2. Continue to practice, practice, practice until you become your new desired future self. The future self that now has all the personality traits to match all your professional and personal goals to make them a reality.

Remember, we need to BE before we can HAVE.

When you work on each level of Dilt’s Logical Levels of Change, simultaneously, almost instantly, magic happens in your life.

When we operate in the present moment, from a filter of our future self, we quickly strip away all the noise surrounding our current selves and activities. What got us here, will not get us there.

To become our future selves we need to be BEING and DOING, differently in the present moment.

Take action in the present moment towards your future self-goals.

2 Powerful Conclusions: Which one will you choose? (How to change your personality)

Here are 2 powerful conclusions that will take us in two completely different directions.

1) If we believe personality is fixed and permanent, we will dumb down our goals to fit our personality – Disempowering with limited possibilities.

2) If we believe personality isn’t permanent, we will choose big audacious goals (excellent filter) and adjust our personality to match those goals – Empowering with unlimited possibilities. Click for further support on how to change your personality

Which powerful conclusion will you take to heart, and commit to daily action steps, to become the best version of yourself?

What’s one professional and personal goal that you would like to commit to NOW?

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“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.” – John Whitmore

What Does a Coach Really Do? At a recent networking event, I was asked what coaching is and how it works.

Instead of a standard explanation, I offered to walk someone through my process. Here’s a glimpse of how I approach coaching, starting with creating a comfortable environment and guiding clients toward solutions.

How My Coaching Process Works

• Creating a Safe Space: The first step is to invite you to a quiet, private space where you can truly be yourself—no distractions, just a relaxed environment with a coffee or tea. It’s important to be in a setting where you feel comfortable and safe.

That is why I have a private, comfortable office where clients can feel completely safe and relaxed. Every time they return to this environment, they get into a state conducive to relaxation and creative work.

The environments we surround ourselves in must be consciously and strategically chosen to ensure our best work. My office provides a magical atmosphere and presence for executives to do their best work during a coaching session.

• Open Dialogue: Once we’re in this private space, we start talking. I ask open-ended questions to help you express your challenges, goals, and concerns. This conversation is key to identifying the real issue and how I can best support you.

We discuss all the different areas of your life to get a good picture of what could be the real cause of your presenting symptoms. Taking time in this part of the process is paramount to the success of the coaching session.

Symptoms in one area of your life don’t mean the root cause of the problem is in the same area. In many cases, it’s different.

The client gets so many benefits (stress reduction, clarity of mind, awareness, aha moments, and a powerful boost of energy) by participating in this open dialogue. It’s already starting to unlock solutions in the client’s mind, and these solutions float up to the surface to be captured and applied.

• Guiding the Process: Through a series of thoughtful questions, I guide you to explore solutions you may not have considered. My role is to help you unlock answers within yourself, not to give advice but to facilitate self-discovery.

In certain areas of the conversation, I will stop to go deeper and offer more awareness to the client regarding their challenges. Unlocking key components of the cause of the problem transitions into client solutions.

I’m continually observing the client’s nonverbal communication to identify alignment or misalignment with their verbal communication. We are communicating not just with the conscious mind but also the subconscious mind.

During our conversation, I need to confirm the match between verbal and nonverbal communication before we can proceed to the next point.

It’s striking to see the client’s demeanour shift towards the end of the session. Their energy goes through the roof, and they completely shift their posture with a big smile on their face. You just know they are ready to leave the office to take action.

• Ongoing Support & Accountability: Once we’ve identified a path forward, I provide the support and accountability needed to ensure you follow through on the actions we outline together.

Based on our conversation today, I will ask the executive client what one, two, or three tasks you will commit to and take action on before our next session.

Once they have identified those three tasks, we will set up an accountability schedule to ensure their completion.

In our next session, these three tasks will be the topic of our initial conversation.

The Coaching Difference

Coaching is much more than simply offering advice. It’s about creating a safe and supportive environment where you can explore challenges, unlock new perspectives, and discover solutions within yourself.

By guiding you through thoughtful questions and providing ongoing support and accountability, I help you achieve meaningful progress in both your personal and professional life.

Your Coaching Journey Starts Here

Ready to experience the transformative power of coaching? If you’re facing challenges or simply want to unlock your full potential, I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s sit down, have a coffee, and begin the journey toward your best self. See what others are saying!

Reach out today and take the first step!

Paul Simos is an accomplished Executive Life Coach, Health Coach, and Certified Trainer. His fundamental belief about his clients frames how they work together: They already have everything they need to succeed. His role as a coach is stimulating and challenging his clients to unlock their successful beliefs, skills, and behaviour patterns. LinkedIn.

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Going back as early as the 1800’s when the personal development / self help industry started there was a big push and focus on goal setting in the 20th century and rightly so.

Goals and goal setting became the new buss word which helped thousands of people create great and wonderful achievements in their lives on a daily basis. Without goals I am sure both you and I and society would not be where we are today.

Now that the human race is growing, developing and evolving at a very rapid pace have goals and goal setting lost some of their power and effectiveness?

Who are some of the big achievers that surround us or have surrounded us recently? Who are the people that are making a big impact not just in their own lives but causing a ripple effect in many lives around the world?

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mother Theresa, Howard Schultz, Jeff Bezos, Satya Nadella, Larry Page etc… Just to name a few.

The one thing these giants of the world have in common is that they are Visionaries.

They all have a crystal clear vision of how THEY see the world. A vision that they live, eat and breathe 24 hours a day.

Look at Howard Schultz from Starbucks for an example. His vision from the very beginning in his very own words…

“From the beginning, our vision at Starbucks has been to create a “third place” between home and work where people can come together to enjoy the peace and pleasure of coffee and community”.

Starbucks now boasts over 21,000 stores in over 65 countries around the world.

How often do you visit your local Starbucks and enjoy that “third place” between home and work where you can come together to enjoy the peace and pleasure of coffee and community? For me it was just 12 hours ago.

Did Howard Schultz set goals, plan and continually work on his goals? I am sure he did but what do you think was the real inspiration and what gave him the energy and passion to follow through on those goals?

His Vision of a better future for the entire world.

What is your vision for your life? What is your vision for your health, career, relationships, neighborhood, society, family, the world…

Create a vision that will empower you to make your life, the lives of those around you and the world a better place. Once you have that vision then use goals and goal setting to create the vision. Keep your focus on your vision not your goals and using goals as a means to an end but not an end in itself.

Your vision is the end result not the goals that you set on a daily basis.

Part of the process when working with my clients is to create with them their vision of how they would like to see the world and then together we bring it into reality through goal setting.

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